To bring the baby or not to bring the baby — that is the question.
Major family events bring a host of decisions for the parent of an infant. Is the baby old enough? Will he disrupt any important moments? What about feeding and nap times? Will I have to pump? How do I store the milk?
This summer I’ve handled a plane ride to Florida, a wedding reception and a family reunion.
This past weekend was the big challenge: My husband’s brother was married and my husband and I were in the bridal party. The baby-sitting options were slim, given that my entire support network was either in or attending the wedding.
I opted to import my aunt and cousin from Detroit to watch the baby. They don’t see him very often and it was a way for them to spend some one-on-one time with him.
What I didn’t realize was that I was setting up a guilt-ridden paradox, where I would feel obligated to be in two places at once. I was a bridesmaid — and very honored to be included in that group — so I wanted to make the bride and groom’s special day be perfect.
Conversely, I had my wonderful relatives drive more than three hours just to baby-sit my kid, so I felt obliged to make it be a smooth and enjoyable experience.
Clearly I have guilt issues.
Anyway, the day manifested itself in frantic form, where I raced home after my 8 a.m. hair and makeup session to help my cousin put the baby down for a nap. Then I raced back to the wedding site for the ceremony and pictures.
I drove back home, only to find that my aunt and cousin had taken the baby to the park, so off I went in my bridesmaid dress to meet them. I drew a lot of stares as I walked with two casually dressed women and a baby in a stroller. My bare feet didn’t help the look, as I already was dealing with wedding-shoe blisters.
I raced off to the bridal party dinner and had my aunt and cousin meet me at the reception. By that point, I had a lot of “Where’s the baby?” questions and felt that I needed to provide the child for the oohs and aahs of out-of-town relatives.
I saw him no longer than five minutes before I was off to the bathroom to pump, as he had eaten just prior to arriving.
Then it was toasts and cake cutting, followed by calming the baby down from being passed around to 20 different people.
My evening concluded with me leaving early and mumbling excuses to my mother-in-law for why I needed to leave — and the guilt continues to mount to this day.
In the end, I have to stop trying to please everyone else, because I will please no one. And, as long as my baby is happy and healthy, I’m sure my relatives and friends will understand — or at least be wise enough to not take me to task.
I’m just glad I don't know anyone else who is recently engaged!
Major family events bring a host of decisions for the parent of an infant. Is the baby old enough? Will he disrupt any important moments? What about feeding and nap times? Will I have to pump? How do I store the milk?
This summer I’ve handled a plane ride to Florida, a wedding reception and a family reunion.
This past weekend was the big challenge: My husband’s brother was married and my husband and I were in the bridal party. The baby-sitting options were slim, given that my entire support network was either in or attending the wedding.
I opted to import my aunt and cousin from Detroit to watch the baby. They don’t see him very often and it was a way for them to spend some one-on-one time with him.
What I didn’t realize was that I was setting up a guilt-ridden paradox, where I would feel obligated to be in two places at once. I was a bridesmaid — and very honored to be included in that group — so I wanted to make the bride and groom’s special day be perfect.
Conversely, I had my wonderful relatives drive more than three hours just to baby-sit my kid, so I felt obliged to make it be a smooth and enjoyable experience.
Clearly I have guilt issues.
Anyway, the day manifested itself in frantic form, where I raced home after my 8 a.m. hair and makeup session to help my cousin put the baby down for a nap. Then I raced back to the wedding site for the ceremony and pictures.
I drove back home, only to find that my aunt and cousin had taken the baby to the park, so off I went in my bridesmaid dress to meet them. I drew a lot of stares as I walked with two casually dressed women and a baby in a stroller. My bare feet didn’t help the look, as I already was dealing with wedding-shoe blisters.
I raced off to the bridal party dinner and had my aunt and cousin meet me at the reception. By that point, I had a lot of “Where’s the baby?” questions and felt that I needed to provide the child for the oohs and aahs of out-of-town relatives.
I saw him no longer than five minutes before I was off to the bathroom to pump, as he had eaten just prior to arriving.
Then it was toasts and cake cutting, followed by calming the baby down from being passed around to 20 different people.
My evening concluded with me leaving early and mumbling excuses to my mother-in-law for why I needed to leave — and the guilt continues to mount to this day.
In the end, I have to stop trying to please everyone else, because I will please no one. And, as long as my baby is happy and healthy, I’m sure my relatives and friends will understand — or at least be wise enough to not take me to task.
I’m just glad I don't know anyone else who is recently engaged!
Love it. As the bride in this story, you could not of done a more fantastic job as a bridesmaid and recent mother. I will always understand that you must but Ben first. You're a great mother and cant wait to look to you for advice some day.
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