The best laid plans often lead to a massive mess

The downside of being in a groove when raising a child is that you don’t see curveballs coming.

I’m not talking about unexpected car maintenance or working late one night — those things I have learned to anticipate at all times. No, I mean the random and often ridiculous situations one finds themselves in within their own home when they least expect it.

I was able to take a half-day last week in order to catch up on a project I need to wrap up for school. I was so stoked and had my whole day planned. First I needed to clean the cat litter boxes or city officials were going to condemn my basement. 

Next, I figured I would shampoo a 10- by 10-foot area of carpet in my living room to remove the dog urine my beagle so lovingly deposited recently. But I never realized how dirty the main walkway of only a year-old carpet could be. Buckets and buckets of brown water later, I had to abandon the project and move onto my homework.

But then I noticed that my other dog, a German shepherd, was crying when he scratched one of his ears. Off to the vet we went, only to find out he had a yeast infection. Where in the heck do those come from? Has he been sneaking into a muffin factory while I sleep at night?

By mid-afternoon, I was finally getting to my schoolwork. That’s when I noticed the funky odor from the baby’s room. Might as well empty the diaper pail, right? After all, the next day was trash day.

But back to homework …

I got myself a cool drink and gathered all my school materials. I only had about an hour to work on my project before I had to pick up the baby and I didn’t need any more distractions. Plus I was all filled up with bodily fluids.

I sat down and no sooner did I get my seat warm, but the shepherd starting whining.

“No!” I said, thinking he wanted to play fetch outside. It pretty much is the only thing on his mind other than pooping and eating and, lately, it often gets pushed down the priority list.

“Lay down,” I said. “I’ll play with you later.”

He took one step forward, leaned down and … he puked at my feet.