“Our baby is a genius,” I said.
“Oh yeah?” my husband replied. “Did he figure out the DVR, because I could really use some pointers.”
“No,” I said. “He knows how to talk.”
“Um. ... He’s only 9 months old.”
“I know that,” I said. “But that’s what makes him a genius. He knows that I’m ‘mumma.’”
“I hate to break it to you, but he says that all the time over and over.”
“That just means he’s thinking of me,” I said.
“I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking of you when he’s gnawing on a table leg.”
“Well, what about when he said ‘uh-oh’ the other day?” I shot back. “You can’t deny that that was awesome.”
“He was just mimicking us when we said it to him after he dropped his sippy cup,” my husband said. “He’s just copying what he hears and sees us doing.”
“If that were true, he would be a pro at washing dishes and yelling at the TV during baseball playoffs,” I said. “So my theory still stands at GENIUS.”
“Even if you were right,” he mused. “Do you really think it rises to the level of genius? I mean, saying ‘mumma’ and ‘uh-oh’ isn’t really THAT impressive, is it?”
“How dare you insult our son’s intellect!” I said. “He can hear us right now and you are damaging his self-confidence.”
“He pees in the bathtub for all to see. I’m pretty sure he has all the self-confidence in the world,” he said.
“Well, you could be hurting his feelings,” I said.
“He isn’t crying. He seems fine to me,” my husband said.
“He is internalizing your lowered expectations of him and it will not manifest itself fully until he reaches his teens, but by then it will be too late,” I said.
“He doesn’t understand what we’re saying, honey. Even if he’s a genius, I doubt he has the vocabulary of a 30-year-old.”
I looked deeply into my infant’s big, blue eyes and he smiled at me, showing one crooked tooth.
“Mum-mum-mum-mum ...”
“You’re wrong,” I told my husband. “He just told me with ESP that he’s a genius.”
— Sarah Leach is assistant managing editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.
“Oh yeah?” my husband replied. “Did he figure out the DVR, because I could really use some pointers.”
“No,” I said. “He knows how to talk.”
“Um. ... He’s only 9 months old.”
“I know that,” I said. “But that’s what makes him a genius. He knows that I’m ‘mumma.’”
“I hate to break it to you, but he says that all the time over and over.”
“That just means he’s thinking of me,” I said.
“I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking of you when he’s gnawing on a table leg.”
“Well, what about when he said ‘uh-oh’ the other day?” I shot back. “You can’t deny that that was awesome.”
“He was just mimicking us when we said it to him after he dropped his sippy cup,” my husband said. “He’s just copying what he hears and sees us doing.”
“If that were true, he would be a pro at washing dishes and yelling at the TV during baseball playoffs,” I said. “So my theory still stands at GENIUS.”
“Even if you were right,” he mused. “Do you really think it rises to the level of genius? I mean, saying ‘mumma’ and ‘uh-oh’ isn’t really THAT impressive, is it?”
“How dare you insult our son’s intellect!” I said. “He can hear us right now and you are damaging his self-confidence.”
“He pees in the bathtub for all to see. I’m pretty sure he has all the self-confidence in the world,” he said.
“Well, you could be hurting his feelings,” I said.
“He isn’t crying. He seems fine to me,” my husband said.
“He is internalizing your lowered expectations of him and it will not manifest itself fully until he reaches his teens, but by then it will be too late,” I said.
“He doesn’t understand what we’re saying, honey. Even if he’s a genius, I doubt he has the vocabulary of a 30-year-old.”
I looked deeply into my infant’s big, blue eyes and he smiled at me, showing one crooked tooth.
“Mum-mum-mum-mum ...”
“You’re wrong,” I told my husband. “He just told me with ESP that he’s a genius.”
— Sarah Leach is assistant managing editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.
Hahahahaha
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