The other day, a friend of mine told me she was expecting
her first child with her husband next spring.
I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed, not just for her
personal dream realized but I also welcomed a new “couple with children” into
my ranks.
Major life events tend to strain friendships in unintended
ways. When I first got married, I would have my single girlfriends call on a
Friday night asking if I wanted to go out.
They struggled with the concept of me asking my husband what
his plans were, and if he minded if I left for a few hours.
“Why do you need to ask him?” they would say. They didn’t
know what it was like to no longer be an individual, but part of a unit.
Slowly the single friends drifted away — some drifted back
once they became involved in serious relationships or got married.
The same evolution happened when I had a baby, and I grew
increasingly out of touch with my single friends — even with my childless
friends.
It’s not an intentional thing; it’s more of a natural
growth. I couldn’t even start to imagine how I would explain my life now to the
25-year-old version of me. My younger self wouldn’t know the first thing about
diapers. She would be horrified at the sight of poop and vomit. She would get
the shifty eyes at the mere mention of a toddler’s temper tantrum.
Major life events change who you are: getting married helps
you learn how to work as a team, and having a baby helps you learn how to love
someone else more than you’ve ever loved yourself.
So it is with great delight that a dear friend of mine will
be able to relate and share in the journey of parenthood with me. I already can
see a new bundle of joy, a little squeak of a cry and lots of naps — for momma
and baby.
But for now she gets to dream, as well she should. And I get
to give her all the unsolicited advice she can stand. Hey, is this a great
friendship or what?
— Sarah Leach is content editor at The Holland Sentinel.
Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.
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