What to do for three months with baby?

My husband is leaving for three months.

When I got the news, I wanted to cry — the thought of handling the responsibilities of work, school and a baby all on my own was terrifying.

His job is in the construction field and he needs to go where the work is and I need to start accepting the reality of my situation.

He will miss most of the summer, and with it, many milestones in our son’s life.

He won’t see him eat solid food for the first time, his first tooth, or his first attempts at crawling. He won’t see the baby’s reaction to feeling grass under his feet for the first time, or sand at the beach.

Then I worry about the baby remembering his dad — will he recognize him or fear him when he sees him? My heart breaks to even ask the question.

I have a support network rallying behind me, offering to watch the baby while I am at work. Being a second-shifter is not easy when it comes to parenthood as it is. It’s difficult to find daycare options and you always need an army of helpers as a backup plan.

I have one more week and the deal will be done. Then baby and I will be on our own.

I’m sure the time will fly by. I’m sure we’ll be fine. I’m sure it won’t cause my son and ill effects and I’m sure my husband will think about us daily.

With all the bright side comments out of the way, I’m mad — steaming mad. I hate this situation and I desperately want to change it. But accepting that fact that the situation now is beyond my control is proving to be most difficult.

But, then again, I always had issues with not getting my way. Maybe this time with my son is exactly what I need in order to focus on what is most important in life.

I will do my best to muddle through, and I hope it will all work out in the end.

Baby boom amongst minority populations

According to new census figures, racial and ethnic minorities now make up more than half the children born in the U.S. It's an important milestone, because it means more ethnic babies are being born stateside rather than immigrating with their parents.

Once of the statistics that most interested me was that births actually have been declining for both whites and minorities as many women postponed having children during the economic slump. One of the reasons I waited until my 30s to have children was because I felt I could not afford a family until I was more financially secure.

Read the article by The Associated Press here.

Child of God

Ben was baptized Sunday, May 13, 2012 — Mother's Day. My grandmother brought the christening gown she handmade for her first child — my mother — for him to wear. That gown was used for all three of her children and for me when I was baptized. It felt so right to have it there for him, knowing he was wrapped up in an entire family history of God and love as his divine life began.

The oil used to anoint the infants smells delicious — like flowers and herbs. It reminded me of the smells you inhale when you walk through a field of wildflowers. I kept smelling Ben's little head and hoped that smell would never go away.

And, of all the babies in the church that day, mine was the only one who didn't cry. What a great experience.

Skip what you hate about parenting

In the wake of the Time magazine cover, one writer says women should never doubt if they are "mom enough."

Read the article here.

Moms just want the simple things this Mother's Day

Mother's Day honors mothers and celebrates motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society — because they are the glue that holds families together.

Although I have been a mother only for four months, it has been rich with lessons and experiences.

For example, I have learned that I can, in fact, take a six-minute shower, or that I can cook dinner, wash dishes and do laundry — all one-handed.

As families honor Mom today, we should remember when and why it all started.

The modern holiday was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis had a memorial for her mother, Ann Maria Reeves Jarvis. The elder Jarvis had founded Mothers’ Day Work Clubs. These brave women campaigned to improve sanitary conditions in cities and helped treat wounded soldiers in the Civil War — both Union and Confederate.

Two years after her mother’s death, the younger Jarvis had a “Mother's Day” and adamantly campaigned to have it be a recognized holiday in the United States.

Although she was successful in 1914, she already was disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s.

I can’t blame her. After all, I would rather be able to relax and enjoy my family’s company — versus running around like a maniac — than receive jewelry or a vacuum cleaner.

Moms don’t need you to spend money. Rather, they want acknowledgement and appreciation for everything they do “behind the scenes.” The want to hear that you love them for who they are and that you want to spend time with them. They want affirmation that all the time and energy they put into making others happy is worth it.

My husband recognizes the importance of my first Mother’s Day.

“I’m been thinking about what to get you and I just don’t know,” he said. “Will you just tell me what you want?”

I thought about it for a few minutes.

“Not to worry,” I said.

He laughed, but I only was half-kidding.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with some older co-workers several years ago.

“The minute you have a child,” one of them said, “a sense of worry settles upon you and it never goes away.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

It’s Mom’s job to worry — about scheduling, nutrition, comfort, organization, preparation — you name it, Mom has thought of it. After all, our end goal is to make our children happy and to forge positive experiences. Whether we work out of the home or stay at home, juggling everyone else’s wants and needs — often at the expense of our own — is no small feat.

And we always doubt ourselves, wishing we could do more, do better, do it all.

So, this Mother’s Day, give Mom what she truly wants: your attention, your affection, your respect. It really is the best gift of all.