Weathering the storm of parenthood ups and downs

“If you don’t like the weather now, just wait a few minutes,” or so the saying goes.

The same could be said of motherhood.

There are moments when I am so overwhelmed by the stresses of life, and then my son does something so naively amazing, and I am struck with the incredible blessings of life.

Conversely, when I allow myself to slip into the safe security of a family routine, it is easily shattered unexpectedly.

Heading into the holidays, I was entrenched in planning mode. It was my first time hosting Christmas dinner and, just 10 days later, was my son’s second birthday party.

Now, some people might not get too jazzed about a 2-year-old’s birthday, but in most cases with the attendees, this is one of the few times my husband and I get to connect with our friends and their children altogether.

Even though I enjoy these experiences, however, I am filled with relief once they’re over, and I look forward to life returning to normal. And this year was no exception, but this year, life had other plans. My toddler suddenly spiked a fever more than a week ago. He was diagnosed with respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV, a highly contagious malady that can lead to more serious illnesses in children.

I’ve been down this road before with my son, as he had RSV last year. But he just didn’t seem to be responding to the prescribed medications by our pediatrician. By Thursday, we were in the emergency room and he had a temperature of 104 degrees.

Three hours later, his condition was stabilized and we had a diagnosis of pneumonia. Did I mention the pink eye in between?

Yes, motherhood, like the weather, has amazing highs and gut-wrenching lows, and I’m beginning to understand that it’s pretty common for these extremes to occur within the same week.

But each time the pendulum swings the other way, it certainly puts things in perspective and when enough time passes, you look back and literally feel yourself growing as a human being through the parenting process.

And that makes every five minutes worth living.

— Sarah Leach is editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.

Christmas spirit discovered in fun, unexpected way

When all was said and done on Christmas Day, there was an immense sense of satisfaction that everyone had a wonderful time. Their bellies were full, there was joy in gift giving and we all could escape from the day-to-day insanity of our lives and laugh and love.

And although my bones were aching in the end, I was so happy — but that’s what you do for those you love.

That dedication certainly was tested a few short days later, when I was crazy enough to gift my husband with tickets to the Winter Classic, an outdoor hockey game between the Detroit Red Wings and Toronto Maple Leafs at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor on New Year’s Day.

Now, those who know me are well aware of my hatred of winter. Snow, ice and frigid temperatures just ain’t my thing. If it were up to me, I would hibernate with the squirrels until the mercury crept back up to 50 degrees.

So it was no small feat when I packed on the layers to attend this event. There were the two layers of socks wrapped in faux fur-lined boots. There were the two pairs of long underwear, the two-layer winter coat and the snow pants. And it wouldn’t be a party without the Red Wings jersey and hat, coupled with a facemask with only a narrow window for my eyes.

Before the puck dropped, the announcer called the stadium visitors’ attention to the scoreboard at either side of the field. And there, in giant digits read 13 degrees, and that was before wind chill. Did I mention it was in the middle of a blizzard?

Hockey fans might remember that, because of a dispute between the NHL and its players last year, an ensuing lockout canceled the 2013 Winter Classic. Everyone had to wait another year to see this matchup at this epic venue come to pass. And I married a rabid hockey fan.

Over the next four hours, we saw a great hockey game and we didn’t die of hypothermia, which in and of itself was a great accomplishment. But, most importantly, my husband was over the moon to see this game — this frigid, long-awaited game.

And you know what? That’s what Christmas is all about: bringing joy to others and that led to me having a wonderful time.

— Sarah Leach is editor at The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.

Reach out to those you long to know

The holidays are known for bringing families together. Aside from all the commercialism and decorating, it’s really a time when we step back and treasure the special people in our lives.

Of course, it’s also a difficult time for many, as the holidays can remind some people of what they have lost.

My family went through a devastating period where we lost two members in 18 months — one the day after Christmas. After that, we decided to vacation together as a family during the week of Christmas. It only lasted a few years, but it’s what we all needed to heal from the pain, and now those are treasured memories for me.

And the addition of my son to the family has allowed me to focus on teaching him about this wonderful time of year. It has rejuvenated my spirit when I see my toddler’s delighted face as he discovers Christmas trees, holiday lights, angels and Nativity scenes.

I must say, however, that this time of year has me longing for my parents. As some of you might recall, my mother departed this world long ago and I am estranged from my father. And this irrefutable truth forces a sadness to settle upon me, especially when I’m trying to make Christmas bright.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I took a chance on reconnecting by calling my paternal uncle. I asked if he wanted to visit while my husband, son and I were visiting other family in the area. Not only did he say yes, he welcomed us with open arms.

He and his partner cooked for hours preparing a feast — she even bought our son some new toys.

We sat and ate and talked and shared. It was as if the 25 years since we last saw each other melted away. And I know it sounds melodramatic, but it restored my faith in family. It’s never too late to reach out and reconnect — it’s all about just taking that chance.

— Sarah Leach is the editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 and sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.

My monkey see, my monkey do

The best part of the holiday shopping season is the smart, witty advertising retailers conjure up to get us to spend big bucks.

The big box stores really step up in the marketing department with catchy jingles, clever double entendres and heart-tugging moments.

In fact, the humor and warm messages are the only things that help suffer through a materialistic month.

The unexpected treasure this season is I happen to have a monkey in my house. In fact, my son mimics just about everything he sees, from the words we use — his attempt at pronouncing “I love you” is just priceless — to the way we do things.

He tries to put on our shoes, he puts his toy cellphone to his ear and pretends to gab, he even tries to type on the computer — those darn keys have to be very meaningful for mom to always be playing with them.

So it was with great pleasure to discover that he now is mimicking what he sees on the television.

The much-maligned (and celebrated) Joe Boxer commercial from Kmart came on the other day and my son, now almost 23 months, was drawn to the sound of “Jingle Bells.” He quietly listened as some very scantily-clad men gave what can only be described as a “colorful” rendition of the classic Christmas song.

After the final bell rang, my son thrust his hips forward, as if giving the final note and the entire family burst into laughter. It was as if the moment had been perfectly scripted and it put a fine point on the innocence of youth.

But now I realize that the moment has finally come that he is starting to pay more attention to what we say and do — and what that could mean if I become too careless. Now the remote is firmly affixed to my hand when my “little eyes and ears” are in the room.

‘Tis the season.

— Sarah Leach is editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.

A mother’s guilt is never done

Becoming a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. It changed my life in thousands of untold ways.

I have learned what true love really is. I have learned patience beyond imagination. And I can appreciate a belly laugh to its fullest extent.

But along with these treasures, there are complexities beyond measure. As I juggle a career and motherhood, I have discovered fun terms like “work-life balance,” “family time” and “mother’s guilt.”

It wasn’t a concept unfamiliar to me. My mother was divorced and a registered nurse, meaning she often had an unpredictable work schedule. My aunt was a career-track woman who often had to travel for her job. So it would be fair to say that when I graduated from college, I was ready to make certain sacrifices to be professionally successful.

When “the hubby” came into the picture, sure it was an adjustment to work together toward common goals while supporting one another in our personal aspirations. But having a baby was a game changer.

Now I constantly grapple questions like, “Do I spend enough time with him?” “Do we do enough together as a family?” “Am I setting a good example?”

Part of the mother’s guilt role is that these questions will constantly haunt me until I’m reasonably sure my son is not a serial killer and that he is on the college track. But there has to be some way to assuage my constant worries in meantime for the next 16 years.

Recently, I attended a professional forum that included three other women. One of the women was not working regularly because she wanted to spend time with her new baby. Another had just quit her job — where she had won several national awards — in order to spend time with her children. The last woman there had children and worked from home. Let’s just say I felt a bit out of place.

I would never begrudge a woman staying home with her children — heck, if I could afford it, I would highly consider it. There’s something innate within me, however, that drives me to stay in the professional world. The fact is, I really like working. Sure motherhood gives me a sense of purpose, but women also are needed in workplaces of all types. We are workhorses, we are peacemakers and, above all, we are communicators.

All that fancy talk doesn’t make me feel much better, though. Every day I wonder if I’m setting an example of a strong working woman or an exasperated mommy. Thankfully, he still can’t form coherent sentences, so the jury still is out.

— Sarah Leach is editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.