Listen, honey, it’s all part of the plan

There’s a video making the usual viral rounds of YouTube right now where a precocious toddler, named Matteo, makes his case for getting cupcakes.

But the reason why this video, in particular, has received nearly 12 million hits is not just another heart-melting moment of a child doing something innocently inept to charm us. No, Matteo knows exactly what he wants and he’s not afraid to say it.

In fact, the 3-year-old calls his mother by her given name (Linda) and gently patronizes her for not seeing the obvious myriad reasons he should have a tasty treat. Once I heard him say, “Linda, listen. Listen, honey,” I instantly connected on a deep level with this woman behind the camera.

I find that most of my time at home is spent either explaining something to my 2-year-old son or arguing with him. Toddlers seem to have endless energy and once they start stringing sentences together, coupled with the sharpened skill of manipulating your emotions, it’s not difficult at all for me to believe I will have a Matteo moment of my own pretty soon.

My son continues to become emboldened with his independence. He wants to help me do every task, from watering the plants to vacuuming to folding the laundry. Now, his “helpfulness” usually results in water going all over the floor, the vacuum turning on and off 17 times during a living room sweep and my laundry getting strewn about the floor, but I suppose it’s all par for the course.

One day I know that this independence will serve him well. He’ll need it to navigate that great, big world out there when he leaves home. At the moment, however, it is quite the challenge to manage it.

I always feel the frustration of wanting to say “because I said so!” simmering beneath the surface. Some days I win that battle, some days I don’t. But I think any parent knows that for the countless moments we have where we struggle with the rebellious nature of our kids, there are Matteo moments that make us laugh — and make us realize that it’s all worth it.

— Sarah Leach is the editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at 616-546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.

Toddler tantrums have me wanting to lose it

As a rule of thumb, I do not negotiate with terrorist.

It usually just leads to more trouble and they are not trustworthy enough to hold up their end of the bargain.

But then I had a kid and now that he’s been formally introduced to his independent streak, negotiations have become a major component to my day.

Back in 2008 B.C. (before children), I used to daydream about what parenthood would be. I would quit my job and home school them — because any children that I had were bound to be the next Albert Einstein or Steve Jobs — and their education could not be left to chance.

I would feed them only whole grains, organic greens and lean meats to ensure the best nutrition.

And I would never even think about spanking and would use my elevated reasoning and verbal skills to educate my young on the lessons of life.

Then I had a son and all that flew out the window.

Now I hear him say words that I really wish he didn’t know (thank, hubby), French fries are his favorite food and I do more convincing and enticing than a vice cop.

This is all because of the toddler tantrum, which can strike at any moment in any setting.

There are many shades of the tantrum: among them there’s the “I can’t get what I want” wail, there’s the “why did mom leave the room” rant and, my personal favorite, the “the sudden shriek for no reason.”

Usually I’m blessed with a decent “cool down” period, where the tantrums are spaced out a few hours, but then one recent morning, there were three in 45 minutes.

It started when I had the audacity to hand him his sippy cup rather than let him grab it (in my defense, he did not let me know his wishes pre-tantrum). And that was all it took for a five-minute screaming fit.

Ten minutes later, I was attempting to brush his teeth and he wouldn’t open his mouth. I tried motivating him with a treat, I tried asking very nicely, I tried the stern warning to comply — nothing worked. He hollered when I tried to overrule his stubbornness and kicked me as I tried to hold his chin still.

Then came time to get into the car, which I liken to trying to wrestle a piglet into a mud pen (complete with blood-curdling screams).

The only thing that prevents me from wanting to kill him is 10 minutes after the meltdown, he will do something that I’m convinced is the most adorable thing a child has ever done.

Yes, cuteness definitely is this child’s weapon of choice, and I think he’s winning the war.

— Sarah Leach is editor of The Holland Sentinel. Contact her at (616) 546-4278 or sarah.leach@hollandsentinel.com.